Sure, you can just throw everything on the table and let your guests attack it like a pack of rabid dogs, but if the thought of your painstakingly prepared dishes being devoured without a hint of appreciation bums you out, here are some tips on simulating a fine Chinese dining experience:

• Set each table place with a rice bowl (or a plate, if that'd be more convenient for your guests), a soup bowl, a pair of chopsticks (or a fork), a soup spoon, and a napkin.
• It's a Chinese tradition for the host to ladle soup into his/her guests' bowls, then set the large soup bowl down on the table for the guests to help themselves to seconds or thirds.
• After the soup and appetizers, bring out the rice and the main course dishes. Set them all at the center of the table and encourage your guests to help themselves.
• Bring out your artfully-arranged fruit platter (or your wittily-stuffed fortune cookies) and let everyone partake. Remember that for the fortunes to come true, you have to offer one to each guest and then take the last one.

And there you have it: a complete Chinese meal. And hey, after dinner, take that two bucks that you would've spent tipping the deliveryman and treat yourself to something special - like some real dessert, for instance. We recommend Yodels.